La Santa Muerte

la santa muerte Dear Madame Olivia:

My teenage son has had a "Santa Muerte" head tattooed on his arm. This scares me, as I'm worried it means that he's part of a cult, or into gangs, or drugs, or has an unwholesome fixation on death, though I don't have any evidence of any of that. He's a good kid and a good student. I still think he should have it removed. What do you think?

Frightened Mother

Dear Frightened:

Madame Olivia is biased, as she is fond of skeleton images of all sorts. A little research does suggest that La Santa Muerte probably has its roots in the drug trade. Madame Olivia suspects, however, and there is some evidence, that the image has passed into the mainstream and is used as a groovy but essentially innocent good luck token by many. You say you don't have evidence your son is into any bad stuff. Madame Olivia advises you to be diligent and keep on top of those things but so far the tattoo sounds benign.

Wishing you and your family buena suerte.

~Madame Olivia

Heart Flutters

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Dear Madame Olivia:

I’m back with another question about my life… my love life, to be exact. I’ve been thinking more and more about my so-called “little” crush from last year. He went to a different school than I. I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about him bit it is really hard. Every time I think of him, it just makes my heart flutter. I do NOT think he likes me back or he ever did. It makes me want to cry Continue reading

Is this me?

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Dear Madame Olivia:

I have a problem with calling myself remotely “pretty” and whenever my family or friends call me pretty or beautiful I glare at them and tell them to never call me that again. I always tell myself I’m never going to be loved except by my family and that’s it. I want to tell myself I am pretty but it’s hard to think I can. Continue reading

My Problem with Twelve-Step

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Dear Madame Olivia:

I have an alcohol problem, recently and forcefully brought to my attention by getting a DUI with my kids in the car.  They want me to go to treatment but mandated twelve-step sounds terrible to me.  I’m worried that they won’t be my kind of people and as a card-carrying agnostic I also can’t handle the first step, the “I’m powerless” thing and the giving it up to God thing.  I would like to go instead to a residential treatment center but my insurance won’t pay for it.  I feel stuck but really do want to get somewhere. Continue reading

Past Love

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Dear Madame Olivia:

A long time ago I was involved with a man who I loved dearly.  We split and I married another man who died some years ago. Since my husband’s death, this other man and I still see each other frequently Continue reading