Dear Madame Olivia:
It’s been over almost two years but this last relationship still haunts me today. I loved her so much but she betrayed me with not so much as a word, but with her actions. It has affected me worse than my divorce years ago. I can’t seem to move on emotionally. Why is it that she still comes to my dreams to this day? Is there a message? Is she trying to say she’s sorry?
Sorry it has taken so long for Madame Olivia to respond. She has thought about you a lot, and in fact she has been haunted by your letter and its poetic, yearning quality.
Madame Olivia definitely thinks there’s a message for you in your dreams. The question is, from whom? Madame Olivia does not discount the possibility that this woman has feelings for you that are somehow making it through the ether to you, whether it’s contrition or musing on the connection you once enjoyed.
More likely, however, is that this woman represented a part of you that you are somehow separated from, which is why you were so attached, and why the separation was and is so wrenching. Can you step back and look into yourself? What was it that drew you to her and that you loved so much? Imagination? Tenderness? Achievement? Beauty? Can you let go of the idea just for a moment that it was something outside yourself you were yearning for and that now feels so torn from you? Can you entertain the thought that your dreams are a message from you to you? Can you also entertain the possibility that the quality or qualities that entranced you exist in you? And need to be rescued?
You are thoughtful and full of feeling and write gracefully. Madame Olivia suspects that a part of you awaits your attention. If you let yourself think this new way, your shattered self can be gathered together in a beautiful new way. Remember that a change in perspective is not preparation for the work, it is the work.
All best wishes for the new year, dear Shattered.